• Ashley

Checking my default settings.

If you want to see my head explode, ask me about spa software.

For real, if you or anyone you know is a smartypants developer and wants to make millions, call me. There is a ginormous hole in the market. We’ll be spa software moguls.

So for the last 3 years, we’ve been cruising along at Milagro, growing like crazy and just basically having a good ol’ time. Except for about once a month (or once a week, or once a day) when I’m struggling not to drop kick our computers through the front window. You may have been here to witness this struggle at some point. If so, I sincerely apologize. Not very spa-y of me.

A couple months ago, my incredibly patient and multi-skilled husband came in (yet again) and did some tweaking. Fingers crossed and knock on wood and all those things…our system has been remarkably trouble-free since.

When he explained to me what he did, it went something like this: (I’m going to quote him, according to me, and he’s going to kill me.)

“The computers are constantly online in the background of whatever task they’re performing. They’re searching the web for the latest and greatest updates they think they need, all the while diverting the energy and brainpower you need them to be using on more important tasks. So they function poorly while doing the things you most need them to do. I just disabled that drain on the system.”

And while I was (of course) listening intently, I was also wondering if we were still talking about the computers or if we were talking about me. And I began wondering how I could also disable the soul-sucking drains on my system.

Until I realized it’s actually really easy. It’s “nope”. And it’s a word I will use (mostly in my head) more often.

-“Hey, Ash! Let’s obsess for awhile about that thing that girl said last week that really got on our nerves.” NOPE. -“Hey Ash! Let’s find someone to vent with (gossip and complain) about that one stupid non-issue that makes us feel really smart and right.” NOPE. -“Hey Ash! We’ve had that super handy and functional bag for a really long time but that blogger said there’s a newer, better style.” NOPE. -“Hey Ash! Let’s check FB/Instagram and stalk that friend who travels the world all year long and makes us feel sorry for ourself.” NOPE. -“Hey Ash! You’re a spa owner, you really should spend more time caring about your nails/eyebrows/hair/shoes/cheekbones.” NOPE.

Turns out default settings are not always optimal settings. In fact, my default settings keep me mostly self-focused (human nature, I guess) and even when they tend towards what I see as beneficial self-improvement, it’s a small, easy leap from self-care to self-centered. Most notably when important energy is so tied up I’m not useful to my people in the ways they need me to be useful. It’s only my kind of self-care if the goal is to be better for my people.

It’s easy to fall back to my default settings, no matter how hard I try, which likely leads to my people wanting to drop kick ME through the window. So I’m always grateful for patience and forgiveness. I’m lucky my computers don’t ask me for the same.

Art by EmDashPaperCo via Etsy

© 2019 by Ashley Smith & Milagro Midwestern Spa Collective